Will You Let Me Love You?


Will You Love Me

You know what today is.  The day we share lots of cards, hugs and chocolates to celebrate the universal language of love.  Valentine’s Day.  While I’m passing around flavored kisses, I can’t forget there’s someone who wants to know if I will let her love me.  Myself.  If there’s anyone I need to extend tenderness to, it’s me.

Here are 10 things I do to love on myself (and refuse to feel guilty about doing them):

1. Sleep – There’s a reason I put this first, because if I don’t get my required sleep, which for me is like 9-10 hours a night, then after about 2 days I turn into The Hulk.  I scream, throw things, and mow everyone down in my path, so I look at it as doing my family a favor when I take a nap.  When my kids were small, 4 hours was about all I could expect, but I quickly found out the dishes and laundry would still be waiting for me when I got back from my nap.  So even now, if I need to take a nap, I take one.

2. Forgive Myself – This is a very difficult thing, but I’m learning to forgive myself for gaining the weight and then never losing it, for losing it with my kids, for keeping a messy house, for not doing the things I said I would do, and for doing the things I said I would never do.  I forgive myself.

3. Trust Myself – When it came to my emotions, I always believed they were NOT something I could trust, but in reality they were, so now I take time to listen and trust what I feel going on inside of me.

4. Speak kindly to myself – I would never say to my children, “You idiot”!  Yet, over and over, I’d say cruel and mean things about myself.  It feels weird and uncomfortable, but I’m practicing speaking/thinking only kindness towards myself.   I sing Bruno Mars’s song, Girl You’re Amazing, to myself all the time.  🙂

5. Do Something I Love Everyday – For years, I played the martyr that I never was able to have time for myself, so I’d punish everyone around me because I was completely empty.  Now, even if it means just a cup of coffee in my favorite chair with no interruptions, then that’s what I say 132 times to my little ones, “Mommy is having mommy time, please do not interrupt me”.

6. Time Out – This is what I need when I realize my top is about to blow.  You know, when the kids are wild at bedtime and you’re done.  I used to just keep going until I blew my top and then I’d sink under the guilt of losing control.  Now, I don’t care how much it seems like I’m needed, if I need a time out, then I take one.  Awhile back, Matt was gone, and I was about to blow, with all the energy I had left I announced that I was going to bed and all my kids (2-7) could put themselves to bed.  And would you believe it, they all helped each other brush their teeth, get on pjs and went to bed.  While I slept.

7. Daydream – The delight of my soul is to dream bigger than myself.  I love letting my heart wonder to the far off places that I used to roam as a little girl.

8. Dress Up – What better way to love on yourself than to dress up before walking out the door?

9. Let God Love Me – There’s nothing more that God wants than to be with me.  I’m learning to let him.

10. Get Away – By myself, with my besties, or with my husband.  Whatever time I need away to fill my tank, I take.  For so long, I made excuses why I couldn’t make it happen, and I found that so much of my life was empty of rest and recreation.  Getting away doesn’t seem so important until the day comes that you may lose everything you love.  I’ve learned not to make excuses anymore, so I’ll call everyone in my contact list before I miss a date night (so if I have your phone number, I may be calling you).


What are you doing to love yourself?

Happy Valentine’s Day!

35 thoughts on “Will You Let Me Love You?

  1. Kelsey Langley says:

    Great post, Charity! I do some of the things you listed, but have made excuses for others. It is time to stop with excuses and just do what I need to do to be happy. I keep thinking about the flight attendants advice to secure your own oxygen mask before helping others… Good advice for everyone, really. You must take care of yourself first or you can’t take care of anyone else effectively. Thanks for sharing that. I’m already working on applying it daily!

    • Charity says:

      Thanks, Kelsey! I still fight making excuses why I can’t always do things to take care of myself and I still feel guilty when I do. But I am on a journey. 🙂

  2. Brittany says:

    This is so good! All too often we think about whether or not we have a Valentine on V-day, but we forget all about loving ourselves. But it’s hard to love others until we take care of our needs first.

  3. Censie says:

    This post hits home. A great reminder that today isnt just about loving EVERYONE else but about loving ourselves. Letting us be happy and loved! Great post. Thank you! #SITSBlogging

  4. Rachel says:

    I love your heart and the perspective God is giving you. There’s such freedom given when reading your words. I don’t do most of the things on your list…. And I need to do more if them. Thank you.

  5. Bev says:

    This is a great list! I need to work on #s 2 & 4 (ESPECIALLY #4!), and will definitely have to keep #6 in mind, especially as my little one gets older. It’s so easy to be harder on ourselves than we would ever be to anyone else, but it is important that we love ourselves and do things that nourish us. Happy Valentine’s Day!

  6. Chastity says:

    What a beautiful post! I don’t know why I feel guilty about loving myself, but when I do place myself as a priority, I feel so much better and enjoy life a little bit more.

    Thank you for sharing this! God Bless you, Charity!

  7. Barb@embracingthesecondhalf says:

    Hi Charity,
    What good advice and something us women are traditionally bad at: loving ourselves. I too, would put everyone’s needs before mine, and secretly seethe (which of course would eventually come out, and it wasn’t pretty!). I have learned over many years (you’re lucky that you realize it already) that it doesn’t make for a contented life. My kids are grown now, so I easily have more time for myself, which is awesome. I love my family with all my heart, but I wish I would’ve recognized the wisdom is loving yourself earlier in life. Best wishes on your journey. God bless.

  8. Carissa says:

    I love this! I have to admit, often the last person I think of is myself. That is until I’m worn down and about to snap. So much better that we take care of ourselves every day to avoid getting to that breaking point in the first place!

  9. brett says:

    I’ve only really recently begun to truly find ways to love myself. it’s a journey and a weird one for me, I’ve put everyone else ahead of me forever.

    • Charity says:

      It really is a weird thing to start thinking about myself after putting everyone else before me. I always that it was selfish and unloving to others.

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  12. Lexi says:

    Really love this post. Im also guilty of putting myself last and loosing out on sleep, or “me” time but this was a great reminder to take time for myself and not feel guilty! Thanks 🙂

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