Flower Bomb + The Other Woman

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“Do you want to go on a date with me?”

It had only been a few weeks since I found out about Matt’s affair.  With an instant punch, my life began to spiral into the ravine of lost dreams.  With naïvety, I believed when I gave my ultimatum, me or her, he’d pick me.  I was sure of it.

Except, he didn’t.

He agreed with my decision for him to move out until he made his final decision, so when he called and asked me out on a real date, I was hopeful.  He promised that he had ended his other relationship, and wanted to give us a try.

As I got ready for our date, I painted my nails, wore bright lipstick, and put on my tallest heels.  I’m a typical low maintenance girl, but tonight was different.  Tonight was special.  I didn’t have any perfume (remember, low maintenance), so I went to our guest bathroom and rummaged around until I found a small perfume sample I was given for participating in a church fashion show.  I dabbed some on, and then waited for my date to arrive.

Matt showed up at the door with flowers.  We had been married for nine years, but that night no one would’ve believed it.  We were polite, but leery.  We were kind, but distant.  We were on an awkward first date.

On the way to the concert, Matt said, “Man, you smell good.  You’re wearing Flower Bomb, and it smells amazing.”

I smiled, and asked, “What’s it called?  And how do you know the name of it?”

“You know, Flower and then, Bomb”.  He gestured with his hand in a bomb motion. “Flower Bomb.  I don’t know how I know the name.  I think someone at church wears it.”

We enjoyed the rest of our awkward first date and chose to ignore the elephant in the room. We’d fight over the elephant another day, but that night was about giving us a chance, and it was a good night.

The next day, Matt showed up at our my home.  “I wasn’t truthful with you last night.  I didn’t want to ruin our date, but she wears Flower Bomb.  That’s how I knew what you were wearing.”

No.  This was all wrong.  You mean to tell me, the ten times he told me how delicious I smelled was because that’s the perfume the other woman wears.  You mean, when he told me he couldn’t stop smelling me, he was thinking of HER?  You mean to tell me, I, the wife, reminded my husband of the other woman.  It should’ve been the other way around!

For the first time since finding out about the affair, I began to sob.  The kind of sobs that came from deepest wounded place of my soul.  The reality of my defeat was profound, and I gave in to the pain.  As my body began to convulse, Matt wrapped his arms around me and said over and over, “I’m so sorry I’ve hurt you.”

When the storm passed, I had one thing clear in my mind.  I will never make that mistake again.  Never again will I remind people of someone else.  From that day forward, people will be reminded of me when around others.  I would wear perfume every single day for the rest of my life.

A couple of days later, Matt sat me down and gave me his decision.  I wasn’t it.

The bottom of my life dropped out, and perfume was the least of my worries.  Perfume was a forgotten mist as I tumbled into the blackness.  Except, Love has a way of catching those he loves in His net.

One night, I was sitting in my sister’s room.  She’s the opposite of me.  Remember, I’m the low maintenance one when it comes to beauty products.  Well, my sister’s room looks like a salon.  That night we chatted while she painted my nails.  She was doing her best to help me feel better.  As my nails dried, I wandered around her room looking through her polishes and eye-liners.

“So, you have anything you want to get rid of?”  I love when my sister purges her beauty supply, because that means I get tons of new stuff.

“Actually, would you want this?  I just bought it, but I have so many bottles of perfume, I’ll never wear it.”  Unknowing of my failed awkward first date, my sister handed me a full bottle of Romance.  Romance was the last bottle of perfume Matt bought me years ago.

Love heard me.  Love saw my broken heart, and he swept in to pull me close to His heart.  That bottle of perfume was more than a bottle, it was a kiss from Love.  He whispered to me that night, I always think of you.  You never leave my thoughts, and you never remind me of someone else.  You are always the one I think of when I’m with you, my love.

I accepted my gift from Love.

I wore that Romance everyday for almost a year as our marriage was repaired.  This past Christmas, Matt surprised me with a new bottle of perfume.  The perfume I picked out was expensive.  In fact, the sales lady said, “Wow, your wife has expensive taste”, but I don’t feel guilty.

I never save it for special occasions, because I’ve learned that I am the special occasion, and every time I squirt on my perfume I know Love is thinking of me.

17 Comments

  • 3 years ago

    This is one of my favorite posts you’ve written. Your honesty is always beautiful.

    • 3 years ago

      Thanks, Jessica. Honesty is not easy to share, so I appreciate your encouragement. xo

  • 3 years ago

    Wow, what a story!! HUGE amounts of grace going on right there. Wow. And I love what you said at the end, “I’ve learned that I am the special occasion.” Love that! 🙂 <3

    • 3 years ago

      All Grace. Every single ounce. xo

  • 3 years ago

    Oh Charity! This post stopped my breath. I cannot imagine such a devastating turn in a marriage!! Bless your heart! And oh, how I love that Love touched you deeply and gave your hope, dignity, and faith just when you needed it most.

    Marriage repaired?

    I am amazed at the grace that must have been poured into your relationship to repair it. Did you write about it? I would love to read if you did…

    Beautiful words. Beautiful heart.

    • 3 years ago

      Thank you so much, Chris! Our marriage has been restored for almost two years, and not to sound like a cliché, but it’s a thousand times better. I do blog pieces of our journey to restoration, but not a lot, because I hope to one day write a book of hope for others who walk this same dark road.

  • 3 years ago

    This is just beautiful, Charity! I can’t wait to read the book one day!

  • Marcella
    3 years ago

    I gain so much reading so many honest and real blog posts because through them I have “met” many truly strong women. Not women who are strong by societal measures of being aggressive, or even ambitious for that matter, but women who have succeeded in the toughest challenges of the heart and of faith. As I age, I am increasingly convinced that a life of faith really is just about forgiveness and love because it all comes from He who is Love.
    You have great courage and honesty in sharing your story and how much those encouragements are needed by all of us, to remember that Love is the ultimate trump card.

    p.s. For the record, I never liked the smell of Flowerbomb and would much prefer to be remembered for the smell of Romance ….just sayin xo

    • 3 years ago

      Your comment is so beautiful and thank you for taking the time to read my story. I agree whole-heartedly, Love is the trump card. 🙂

  • 3 years ago

    Oh yeah. This is my favorite.
    I just bought Romance too, this weekend.
    Love you, Sister.
    xo

  • Jami NATO
    3 years ago

    God is binding up your wounds. Things that you’d never could have known about, he brings to the light and redeems them. Why does he care about such details?!

    • 3 years ago

      Thank you, Jami, for taking the time to stop by my blog! It’s amazing how much he cares about the details. Probably more than even we do!

  • jonnie
    3 years ago

    Charity, I love you. Your courage is uncommon. xoxojv

  • 3 years ago

    A great story. Powerful writing, as always.

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