I have fallen in love. And, when I say in love, I mean lovesick in love. For over a year now, I’ve been swimming in the sea of God’s love, which is strange to say, because I’ve been a Christian my whole life.
I walked up to the front of Calvary Church to accept Christ when I was eight, but I remember Grandma in my nursery class when I was five-ish. She really wasn’t my grandma, but that’s what she had all of us call her, and I don’t think she ever got out of her rocking chair, but she loved us and showed us Jesus, and because of that, I’m sure I unofficially accepted Him in my heart way back then.
This time, things are different. This time I’ve experienced His complete delight in me. I’ve seen that my weak, messy love only makes Him fall more in love with me, because my weak love is real, and that’s all he wants from me — sincere love. The rest are details. Details that he’s helping me work through.
My awareness of His delight in me has set me free from depression, guilt, condemnation, religion and perfection. From the well of this love, I’ve begun to share my story, His love, and His delight for his people here, with complete abandonment.
As I share more and go deeper, I’ve had several people respond to my declaration of God’s overwhelming delight and love for me us,
Yes, but He’s also a God of wrath.
This doesn’t surprise me, because a couple of years ago, this would’ve been my response, too. I agree, God is a God of wrath, only, not really.
For instance, if you walked up to me and said, “Charity, Matt is such a kind, loving husband and father. I can tell he enjoys being with you”. And I respond with, “Yeah, but he’s a man of wrath”.
I can see your blank stare now. I can see your mouth slowly form the words, “Get out now”, as you slip me the number for a good divorce lawyer.
Is Matt a man of wrath? Oh, I’m sure he is. If someone broke into our house and tried to take what wasn’t his, that poor thief would experience the wrath of Matt. Or if someone tried to harm one of our children, you’d see Matt raining down all kinds of wrath and fury.
My point is, even as an imperfect human, he never would be wrathful toward me and his children. His desire is for us to know how much he loves us and will do anything to protect his children.
We all know broken fathers who have poured wrath on those he should love, but God’s not broken. God is perfect, and God is love.
God saves people whose hearts are tender toward him. He protects them. He defends them. Every single time. Oh, we experience consequences for our behaviors, sure, and they hurt, a lot, but they must never be confused with the wrath of God.
Then, who experiences the wrath of God? The spirits who set themselves up against God and try to harm his people.
So, I have a test I give myself to see where I stand with God. When I begin to fear His wrath or anger, I ask myself one question, “Charity, from the bottom of your heart, how do you feel about God”?
If I can say with all honesty, “I love you, God, with all my heart”. I smile and let myself sink into the depths of his love. I have nothing to fear. He’s not angry or disappointed in my weak love. He’s overwhelmed with me.
And I fall more in love, lovesick in love.
How about you? Do you live your daily life taking one ginger step after another through what feels like the land mine of God’s wrath. Do you feel like your addictions, anger or constant failure keeps you seconds away from God’s wrath raining down? Try my test. Ask yourself and answer with brutal honesty, “Do I love God with my whole heart”? If you can say yes, even a weak yes, then let yourself sink into the sea of his love, addictions and all.
That was beautiful!
Thank you, Ginger!! xoxo
Thankful for your openness.
Thanks!
You are one special girl, Charity. Beautiful.
Thanks, again, Jonnie. 🙂
Oh yes, I can totally relate! I’ve been going to church since high school but can never really say I’m a “Christian” in my heart. It was just a mere label.
God’s wrath is that side of Him that not many people take seriously. We all know Him as a God of love, forgiveness and mercy but never a God of wrath. =) Thanks for this post!
And we, as his children, never will know him as a God of wrath. 🙂 Thanks for taking the time to read my post.