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How do You Love Yourself When You Hate Who You See in the Mirror?

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Love yourself.

Seems like everywhere you turn these days, it’s the same message.  Take care of yourself.  Love yourself.

I love it.  It’s one of my purposes in writing my blog.  We must take care of ourselves.  Christians are now embracing the thought that loving yourself doesn’t mean that you’re full of pride or elevating yourself above God, but it’s actually a healthy practice.  We’re realizing that you cannot love others if you don’t first love yourself.

The other night while enjoying Katy Perry’s concert, I heard her angelic voice ring out, “I found out I had to love myself, the way I wanted you to love me”.  It’s strong, it’s powerful, it’s freeing, to not be dependent on someone else to fulfill one of the deepest desires of every human heart: to be fully loved without shame.

Except, how do you love yourself when you hate everything you see in the mirror?  How do you possibly fill your own cup, when it’s completely depleted?  You’ve heard the screams in your head for way too long, “you’re not good enough”!  You know too much about yourself.  You know all the dark places you try to hide inside: the shame, the pain, the hate.

You hope, you pray, Please don’t let me be some sort of mistake.  Am I worthy of perfect love?

I’m here to tell you, there’s a voice whispering to you in the darkest of night.  He whispers to you in the night terrors.  He whispers to you in the empty days.  He whispers to you with every brush against your skin, or with every yearning to be touched. He whispers to you with every single breath you exhale, and with every breath you wish you didn’t inhale.

The voice of Love whispers, I love you.  I desire you, just the way you are.  Let me in.  Let me love you.

Wait.  You don’t understand, I spent half the night, and every other night locked in the spiral twist of shame on my computer screen.

I don’t care.  Let me love you, right where you are.

Wait.  You don’t understand, I hate church.  I don’t read my Bible, and I haven’t said a prayer in too many years.

I don’t care.  Let me love you, right where you are.

You don’t understand, I haven’t eaten in days, because I hate the body I see in the mirror.

I don’t care.  Let me love you, right where you are.

You don’t understand, I fail at everything.  I can’t get this life right.

I don’t care.  Let me love you, right where you are.

You don’t understand, I can’t stop.  I’ve tried, but I JUST CAN’T STOP!  I hate myself because I can’t stop.

I don’t care.  You are all I desire.  Let me in.  Let me love you, just the way you are, until you learn to love yourself.

Before you can love yourself, you must believe that you are already loved without shame.  You must believe you are already accepted, just the way you are.

6 thoughts on “How do You Love Yourself When You Hate Who You See in the Mirror?

  1. Life Breath Present says:

    Great post, Charity! Shame is a might powerful thing and it will keep you locked up and unloving. Staggering shame right in the face and pushing back with a Power Greater than yourself is a tool that never gets tired. 🙂

  2. Pingback: Seven Ways to Practice Forgiving Yourself - The Wounded Dove

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