If I knew then, what I know now.

Boy, couldn’t we all write a book on that one? We were all there, holding our snuggly little newborn surrounded by beeping machines and interrupting nurses. We asked to keep the baby in our room so we could nurse and stare at her face. We grinned wide as the hospital assistant wheeled us out to the real world. We were deposited at the curb, and trying not to break our new treasure we began to strap our bundle into their body harness called a carseat. After fifteen minutes and multiple safety checks, we are off with the wind at our back and the sun on our face.

Then, we didn’t sleep for the next six weeks.

I’m not sure how I’ve made it through eight years as a mother. I guess what every one of us do — we just do. I’ve learned many things about parenting, and I’m sure I’ll learn plenty more along the way. As I write this post, I’ve thought of a million things that I wish I would’ve known when I was starting out as a mommy, but if there was one thing I could share with my younger self, if there is one thing that I wish I had known is

love myself as much as I love my babies.

I know I say this all the time around here, but it’s so vital to my mental, physical, spiritual health and vital for those around me, too. I can not be the mother I need to be when I’m exhausted, depleted and angry. It serves no one well.

Part of loving myself is letting go of control of others, letting them be who they are, and finding my value outside of my role as a mother, because even though I will always be a mother, my children will not always be dependent on me. There will come a day when I will shove their ships off from the dock, and I’ll be left alone to wave good-bye. If I am not healthy, if I’m not complete within myself, then I will either not really cut their tether or I will be lost alone.

So, I’m starting now, while my children are still young. I am going to grow, become strong, be alive in this moment, and believe that loving myself is the best way to love my children.

How about you? If there is one thing you wish knew back then that you know now? What would it be? Share your story here or on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter using #GoodEnoughMom. Be sure to stop by and say hi!

Next week’s prompt is

I’m Sorry

I’ve become really big on saying I’m sorry to my kids, and not in that snide, I’m sorry, but if you hadn’t made me mad then I wouldn’t have yelled kind of sorry.