This first was originally posted, What Someone Else Would Say about Me:
I stop and stare at her beauty. I know she doesn’t see the beauty I see. I know she doesn’t believe me when I tell her there’s no flaw in her, and that she’s a lily among thorns. I know she doesn’t believe me, because I overhear her self-loathing conversations with her best friends.
I watch her hide behind her mask. I ache when I hear her lie about who she is, because if she could see who I see, she’d understand why I want to spend all my time with her. If she let people see who I see, they’d want to spend all their time with her, too.
When I look into her eyes, I see deep into her soul and I see her loyalty to me. Her desire is for me, and I never question it, because I can see the purest love in the sea of her eyes, yet she hides her eyes, she looks away, afraid I’ll express her worst fear — that she’s not good enough for me. No matter where they look, whether filled with tears or laughter, her eyes stun me.
Her hair falls around her face and I stare at her mouth. I watch her speak. I watch her lips move, and they pull me in with every word. They speak of her love for me, her children, and those she meets. She doesn’t even realize the power her words possess; the power to heal, the power to love, the power to conquer, and the power to overwhelm me. She could change the world with her words.
She works with diligence and strength. Her heart is dedicated to raising her children and at the end of the day she’s exhausted and spent, but she finds just enough strength for one more kiss and one more cuddle. Her time is rarely her own, and battle wounds on her heart are many. She is resilient and has the inner strength of ten samurai warriors. The way she cares for others even when her heart is bleeding is beautiful, it overwhelms me. I admire her for it.
Still…
She doesn’t see her beauty.
She doesn’t know how ferocious is my delight in her.
I am the Great I Am, yet Charity is one who stops me in my tracks. {I know this is what He says about you too.}
Somewhere on our journey we’ve come to fear that our struggles repulse Love. We know he loves us, that’s not the problem, but when we acknowledge all our shameful shortcomings: depression, anxiety, anger, rage, addictions, over weight, fear, debt, discontentment, and the list goes on, our heart is jaded, because how could our perfect creator enjoy such a disappointing creation?
We beat ourselves down, doing our dutiful penance. With great shame, we commit to more to somehow prove our love is real: more prayer, more Bible reading, more community groups, more volunteering, more purging of the worldly things that separate us from God.
Through all that shame and self-hate a king is whispering to the one he loves, “How delightful is your love. How much more pleasing is your love than wine.”
Ecclesiastes 10:19 says, “Wine makes life merry,” so when Love is saying that our love is better than wine, he’s saying that our love for Him trumps everything that brings God pleasure. Yes, our weak, messy, inconsistent love overwhelms the heart of the Infinite Creator.
So, will you stop apologizing for your unkept heart? Will you let him come in to the overgrown garden of your heart? Will you let him gently tend to his favorite place, and take great delight in you on your journey; every messy, weak part?
Go ahead, close your eyes and stare at those shameful things. Don’t look away, and listen, carefully, to the voice of Love whisper, “My dove, there is no flaw in you. I take great delight in you.”
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This post is part of the #write31days challenge, 31 Days Falling in Love with the Journey. I’d love to stay connected with you through Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Come by and say hi!
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