Since this is the beginning of Confessions of a #GoodEnoughMom Tuesdays, I thought what better story to share than the beginning of my motherhood journey.
We didn’t plan on getting pregnant with our first. In fact, I was eleven weeks pregnant and so very sick when my girlfriend first suggested that I might be pregnant. I was thinking that I may be anemic, but never pregnant. I cried for two weeks but, once I got through the shock, I jumped in with both feet determined to be the best mother ever. I began reading everything I could get my hands on, and within weeks, I knew I was going to be a hippie mom, complete with natural birth, breastfeeding and homemade organic baby food, and I made sure to register for several baby slings.
My natural birth and hospital stay went without a hitch. Things were going according to plan. Then, on the way home from the hospital, my milk came in. I showed up at our front door full of milk and in pain. Excited, I immediately began to nurse our newborn girl, except Charis wasn’t as excited as I was. The second I tried to latch her on she began to scream in fury. After 45 minutes, exhausted, engorged and in pain I laid her down to sleep, and tried again later. This cycle continued into the evening.
That night my in-laws and my mother all showed up to ‘ohhh’ and ‘ahhh’ over their new granddaughter, except their visit was spent sitting awkwardly on our living room couch, while they listened to their three-day old granddaughter and her three-day old mother wail behind a closed bedroom door. I wouldn’t let anyone in, because this was supposed to be easy. It was supposed to be natural. This is how God meant for it to be, and I was so ashamed I couldn’t get it right!
For the next two days, I wandered around the house bare from the waist up trying my best to get my baby to nurse, and I’m not sure who cried harder during those days, me or Charis. Then, Charis’s cry began to wane. And even though, much to my dismay, my mother fed Charis while I was asleep, Charis became less and less insistent on eating. That’s when my mother stepped in, “Charity, more important than nursing, is a healthy baby. You need to feed her, even if it means with a bottle”.
I relented, but for months, I would bury myself in shame, because my baby was drinking formula from a bottle. Matt would reassure me over and over, you’re still a good mother.
I felt like a failure. I had been so determined to do everything right, to do everything perfect, but then, on the fifth day of motherhood I learned a very important life lesson,
I will never be a perfect mother.
but it took another seven years to learn the important second half of that lesson,
And that’s ok.
I’m learning to embrace my imperfect mothering and know that it’s ok that I don’t have it all figured out or always get it right. I’m learning to embrace being a Good Enough Mom.
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Now it’s your turn. You have until next Monday to link-up your Good Enough Mom stories below or if you’re not a blogger, share a mommy moment in the comments or on social media with the #GoodEnoughMom hashtag.
I don’t want to make any hard set rules, but there are a few things I’d like to encourage those who participate to do:
1. Add a Confessions of a Good Enough Mom Tuesdays badge to your post.
2. Let’s not just expect to receive love. Let’s dish it out!! Take some time to read other blogs linked here, leave meaningful encouragement, and share some of their posts on social media with the #GoodEnoughMom hashtag.
3. We’re all on an imperfect journey, so let’s be real, honest and raw with our posts. Leave your perfect at the door.
4. Be yourself and let’s have fun!
This first week I left the link-up open, but from now on I’ll add a prompt for the next Confessions Tuesday link-up. It’s a prompt to give you a place to start from, but have fun and be creative.
Also, if you have any prompt suggestions, just leave them in the comments below!
The prompt for next week, July 8, is
share your favorite parenting books, blogs and other resources.
I’ll see you here next Tuesday, and remember to leave your perfect at the door!
Here’s a pinnable image for next week’s prompt and a badge to grab for your post.
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